Safe With You: Winter's Rose #1 Read online

  I looked at her, hating that question.

  “What happened in your past, Alex?” she asked, reading me right. Her beautiful eyes shone into mine, waiting for my answer. “You can talk to me. I don’t judge people.” She seemed so open and honest. Her eyes were asking me to trust her.

  I wanted to trust her—I did trust her—but there was a small part of me deep down inside that was afraid she would judge. Everyone judged a book by its cover. They couldn’t help it. It was instinct.

  She tensed at my silence before she pulled away from me.

  I knew I had hurt her with my silence. I knew that she expected me to open up to her like she had opened up to me.

  I latched my hands on to her hips, stopping her from moving away. “Hold on. I’m sorry. I don’t usually talk about myself with women,” I said hesitantly. I shrugged my shoulders. It was ironic that I was the one now feeling backed up into a corner. “It’s not pretty,” I said, shaking my head.

  She stepped away from me, stopping at the stove on the other side of the worktop. She turned the dials off and came back to me, holding her hand out. “Let’s talk.”

  “What about dinner?” I asked, taking her hand.

  “You’re more important than dinner.” She led me through the lounge and into her bedroom, sitting on the end of her bed and pulling me down next to her. “We can be alone in here if Addie comes home. Talk to me.” She turned to the side, resting her kneecaps against the outside of my thigh. “I promise I won’t judge.”

  10

  Charlie

  Tension. I had seen it reflected back at me so many times since David and I had broken up. However, this was the first time I had ever seen Alex looking anything other than calm and laidback. He usually appeared as though he didn’t have a worry in the world. That was not the man that I was currently looking at.

  “This isn’t how I imagined tonight going.” He chuckled, trying to inject some light-heartedness but it wasn’t working. “I thought tonight would be a little more chilled than this.”

  “If you don’t want to tell me, I will understand.” I was trying to be comforting but I didn’t think it was working. I wanted him to talk to me. I wanted him to trust me enough to talk to me about his problems. More importantly than that, though, I just wanted him to be comfortable enough to trust me enough to share in his concerns.

  “You’re the first woman that has ever expressed enough interest in wanting to talk to me about my past.” He rubbed his thumb along my knuckles. “Usually, it’s just sex and then we go back to our own lives.” He turned to me, his fingers tightening on mine briefly before letting go. “Can we lie down?” he asked.

  I nodded, shuffling up the bed, laying on my side and turning to face him. He copied my movements, mirroring my position and placing his hand on my hip, resting it there before taking a deep breath.

  “You might want to throw me out of here when I’m finished,” he joked.

  “It’s a good job I have a good lock on my door then,” I teased.

  He chuckled before resting his head more comfortably on the pillow. “Okay, uh...” He sighed. “When I was younger, I didn’t live in a great place.”

  “Oh.” Damn it. I had to push him, didn’t I?

  “Yeah. In my house, it was pretty normal for a mother to wear bruises. Dad had his good days, but he also had a lot of bad days. The closer I got to the age where I would be leaving home and going to college, the more the bruises would appear on her. It was going from a weekly occurrence to more of an every other day thing.”

  “Alex, I am so sorry.”

  He was looking at me but I didn’t think he was seeing me any longer. He was trapped in his head—stuck in memories of his past.

  “I’d gone to visit Manchester College the weekend before I was scheduled to leave. I was going to be studying Business and Finance.” His hand tensed on my hip. “I went home, and my father wasn't there. James was sitting next to my mother and I... Her face was completely covered in bruises. She was broken.”

  “Alex...” His eyes were glistening and he was breaking my heart.

  “I’d always protected James from it—or I thought I had at least. When I saw him look at her, I could see the cracks forming in him. He’d worshipped our mother. He was always a mummy’s boy. I used to tease him about it.” He chuckled but it sounded hollow. His eyes came back to mine before he shook his head at himself.

  It almost seemed as though he was trying to shake the memories away.

  “Many times I tried to intervene. She would always stop me, though—always said that she could handle it and to keep my nose out. I listened to her because she always made it seem like it was normal—that it happened in every house. How sad is that?”

  “She sounds like a strong woman,” I said.

  “She was. She was bright and funny, sweet, caring and always had a hug waiting.”

  “Was?” I asked. Was. Past tense.

  “Dad came home and he didn’t know I was there. He had been drinking heavily and came back shouting abuse at her. I think she had it worse when I wasn’t there.”

  “What happened?” I whispered.

  “I came back into the room just in time to see him push her over and punch James in the face. He went down, hitting the corner of his forehead on the edge of the table.” He blew out a breath before lying on his back. “I lost it.”

  He sounded so cold.

  “I threw myself at him. I punched him in the face a few times but I...” He lifted his hand and placed it on his forehead. “I didn’t stop hitting him. James pulled me off him but he...” He shook his head. “By the time the paramedics arrived, he was dead. I was arrested and I spent the next six years in jail.”

  “Oh, Alex.” I couldn’t imagine the man at my side killing anyone. I knew that he must still carry the guilt with him and I knew that it must have been scarily violent for it to get to that stage. For him to take a life. “What happened to your mum?” I asked.

  “She became an alcoholic. James found her when I was three years into my sentence. She had a heart attack and died in her sleep.” He turned his head to look at me. “I think this is the part where you throw me out of your life and ask me never to come back.”

  I reached over and stroked my fingers down his cheek. “You don’t know me that well if you think that of me.”

  He placed his hand over mine before pulling it to his lips. “I don’t deserve you,” he whispered.

  “None of us are saints, Alex.” I gave him a faint smile. “You saved your mum. James, too. He would have killed her if you had gone off to college. He had obviously already started trying to make James his victim as well.”

  “I’m not a hero, Charlie.” His hand tensed on mine.

  “I don’t want a saint, Alex,” I defended. “All I want is your trust, honesty and for you to never stop looking at me like that.”

  “Like what?” he whispered.

  “Like I’m the only woman that you see.”

  Confidence and Charlie never usually went together but after tonight, listening to him pour his heart and broken past out to me, I knew that after tonight, we would be stronger. He was a fighter and I would never let him think any less of himself.

  “Kiss me,” I whispered. I placed my hands on the back of his neck and pulled him down to me.

  He leaned over me and softly parted my lips before stroking his tongue against mine.

  “I want you,” he whispered. He tilted his head and trailed his tongue down the column of my neck before nibbling on my collarbone. He reached down and slid my dress up my legs, not stopping until he was grasping the outside of my thigh. “Do you want me to stop?”

  I looked up at him. I needed to know that I was making the right decision. I needed to know that this was for longer than just one night.

  “Do you have protection?” I asked.

  He nodded his head.

  “A sure thing, am I?” I looked past him, feeling like I was making it too easy for him.<
br />
  “Don’t do that,” he whispered. “I just told you more than I have ever told another living soul. You’re more than one night for me.”

  I nodded before trailing my hands down to his belt and slowly unbuckled it.

  He dipped his head and he kissed along my shoulder. He moved the straps down until they were hanging off my naked shoulders and slid his hands beneath me and undid the tie at the back of my waist.

  I grabbed the back of his neck and pushed him back so that he was on his knees. I positioned my body over his and pulled my arms free of the straps. I pulled the dress down, baring my breasts to him.

  “Ah, fuck.” He reached down and grasped my breasts, roughly squeezing them in his palms.

  I reached for the bottom of his t-shirt and pulled it up his body. I rocked my hips against his, feeling his hard length against me.

  He took over and yanked his t-shirt up and over his head before he threw it behind me. He stared up at me and lowered his head, pressing his forehead against my chest.

  “What is it?” I asked. I reached my hands up and laced my fingers through the back of his hair. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” He shook his head before I felt his breath against my skin. “I thought you would have thrown me out of here by now after what I told you.”

  I took his face in my hands. I was realising tonight how false the self-confidence was. I could see now that what he wore was a mask for the whole world to see.

  “You still carry that day with you, don’t you?” I looked at him, feeling like I was seeing him in his true colours for the first time. “You still carry them with you.”

  “I killed someone, Charlie. That isn’t something that you can just move on from.”

  “I wish that you could,” I whispered. I dipped my head and kissed his temple. “I wish that I could make it better for you—help you like you have helped me.”

  “You do,” he whispered. He leaned forwards and pressed his lips to mine before he slid his hands up my thighs. “I want you.” He grasped the elastic of my knickers and began roughly pulling them down and I lifted my hips for him, gasping when he ripped my dress down from around my waist with them. “Now.”

  I nodded before leaning back, placing my head on the pillow.

  “You should always be like this,” he whispered. “Naked and at my mercy.”

  He climbed off the bed and unbuckled his jeans. He took a condom out of his pocket, holding it between his teeth before pulling his jeans off and kicking them to the side.

  Fuck me, he was big.

  He tore the wrapper open and sheathed it over his length. He climbed up the bed, stopping at my ankle. He lowered his head and kissed my skin before he began peppering little kisses up my leg, going straight past where I needed him the most before stopping and sucking my nipple into his mouth.

  I spread my legs wider for him, trying to make it comfortable for his large frame.

  “I want you,” he whispered. “I have wanted you for so fucking long.”

  I laced my arms around his neck, smiling when he rested his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry I kept you waiting for so long, Alex.” I tilted my head and kissed him, parting my lips and moaning when he thrust his tongue into my mouth.

  He slid his hand beneath my neck, fusing our mouths together in firmer strokes. He pulled back suddenly before leaning his weight on his hands on either side of me.

  “You were worth every minute.” He reached down and grasped himself before sliding inside of me.

  We both gasped as he entered me.

  He moved inside me slowly several times before speeding up. I reached down and grasped his arse cheeks, pulling him against me harder. The action caused him to move further inside me. He pulled back, thrusting inside me roughly again, repeating the action, and I could feel my muscles squeeze him. It wasn’t going to take long if he kept going.

  He reached down and took my chin, roughly taking my lips. He groaned against them and it sounded so fucking sexy.

  “You feel so good,” I whispered.

  He leaned back on his knees, pulling me with him so that I was over him. “Show me,” he whispered. He tightened his arm around my waist before he began lifting me roughly and slamming his hips upwards. “Show me how good it feels.” His teeth bit into my neck, causing me to moan.

  “Ah, fuck. Like that.” I placed my hands on his shoulders, digging my nails in before thrusting my hips against him. “Just like that.” I tilted my head back, feeling the pleasure claim me.

  After a few more hard thrusts, and I could feel myself begin to tighten around him.

  His arm moved around me before he pushed us back down. He grabbed my thigh and wrapped it higher around his waist and slammed his hips against me. He moaned against my mouth before I felt his orgasm hit him.

  “Fuck,” he whispered. He rolled onto his back, pulling me with him. “Fuck.” He leaned down and kissed the top of my head.

  “You said that already,” I giggled. “You sound fucked,” I mocked.

  “Royally fucked.” He winked at me, pulling me down on his chest. “Completely.”

  11

  Alex

  Looking down, I smiled when I saw that Charlie was still beside me. She had her face cuddled into my arm with the cutest pout on her face. It was almost seven am, so I was surprised she was still in bed. She usually opened up at ten am, but the time it took to bake all of her products meant that she’d normally be in the kitchen from six or seven am onwards.

  I leaned over to pull the sheet around her as she had goose bumps travelling up her arm. I couldn’t tell if it was from my touch or whether it was because she was cold. Placing it over her shoulder, I smiled when she cuddled herself closer to me. I lifted my arm and rested my head down on hers. I relaxed back against her mattress, feeling content enough to fall back to sleep. Before I could, though, reality crashed back into us, popping our little bubble.

  BANG! BANG!

  A sound woke Charlie and most likely, half of the building.

  “Shhh. It’s okay.” I swung my legs out of bed and grabbed my jeans, pulling them on. “It’s probably Addie.”

  She nodded at me, looking uncertain. Her hair was rumpled and it made her look like a sex kitten, and I looked forward to rumpling it all over again.

  “Open this door! I know you’re in there,” David’s voice thundered from the door.

  Her eyes widened in shock as she grasped the blanket, holding it tightly over her chest.

  “Stay here,” I ordered. I sounded like a prick talking to her like that, but I wasn’t having her anywhere near that arsehole. I fastened my jeans before buckling my belt, ignoring the second round of bangs that came from the main door.

  “I know you’re there, Charlie. I just want to talk to you. I checked the shop and you’re not there...” The handle twisted, rattling the door. “Just open the door, Charlie.”

  Oh, this was going to be fun.

  I took a breath before opening the door, and his face dropped when he saw me before his fist shot out, connecting with my jaw. “You fucking bastard!” he shouted at me, the force of his punch knocking me backwards.

  I grabbed onto the wall, refusing to go down. The fucker had a strong punch on him, I’d give him that.

  “David, no!” Charlie shrieked. She came running out of her bedroom with the sheet wrapped around her body. “Stop it!”

  “You slut!” he shouted, turning on her. “You let this prick in between your legs? Were you fucking him when we were together?”

  “Hey!” I shouted angrily. I fucking hated the way that she cowered at his words. “Don’t talk to her like that!”

  “He’s a fucking bar owner, Charlie. You’re just another notch on his belt!”

  Her shoulders slumped at his words and I knew a part of what he was saying to her was hitting beneath her armour.

  “I said”—I grabbed his shoulder and spun him back to face me—“don’t talk to her like that!” My fist shot out, conn
ecting with his jaw. My temper was on a leash, and he was making it damn fucking difficult to keep it in check.

  He went down on his hands and knees before he spat blood out on to the hardwood floor.

  Charlie ran to him, bending down and lowering her hand to help him up. She had an angelic quality about her, but at that moment, she was bending to a devil—a devil who didn’t fucking deserve anything from her.

  “Get away from me, you slut!” He smacked her hand away from him before he climbed to his feet and stomped to the door. “You’ll regret this.”

  “You cheated on her, arsehole!” I yelled after him. “You lost her a long fucking time ago!”

  I hated the way that Charlie jumped at my words, but there was no fucking way I was going to stand there and watch her take his bullshit.

  He continued walking, slamming the door and leaving us to it.

  “Well,” I sighed, “that wasn’t really how I imagined this morning playing out.” I reached my hand out to stroke her arm but before I could reach her, she turned away from me and walked back towards her bedroom.

  “I’m going to take a shower,” she muttered. She said it loud enough for me to hear, but I had a feeling it wasn’t an open offer for me to join her. Shaking my head, I walked into the kitchen and began mixing some pancake mix. After making a decent stack, I headed to the bedroom to grab my t-shirt. I froze in the doorway when I saw Charlie sitting on the end of the bed.

  She was already dressed in her works t-shirt and leggings. Her hair was knotted on the top of her head and tucked off her neck. She looked fucking gorgeous, apart from the fact that she seemed like she was close to crying.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “He called me a slut,” she whispered. She wiped her hand across her cheek and I knew that she was already crying. “You’re the first guy I’ve been with since him and I...”

  I sighed, taking a seat next to her. “You don’t have to explain yourself.” I slid my arm around her shoulders and pulled her into me. “That fucker has just realised that he’s lost. He was lashing out. That’s all.”